FIVE MINUTE MILE

FIVE MINUTE MILE - THEATER ON THE RUN!

THE FIVE MINUTE MILE is a unique night of theatre where any given night you could see plays about love at first sight, workplace antics, the relatities of war, sexcapades gone awry, bullying turtles and the crazies that come out of the woodworks everywhere.  Comedies and dramas, plays and monologues, you will get to see slices of all kinds of lives - five minutes at a time.

 

The following 33 plays were selected through a blind review process from 220 plays from 31 states across the country!

 

On any given performance night you could see any combination of 20 of these short plays chosen by a combination of a set schedule, random draw and audience vote!  The set schedule of the first 8-9 shows each night is on the sidebar to the right.  When the audience arrives, another 6 will be selected at random and the remaining plays will be voted on by the audience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta.   Play.

When you take your relationship to the next level... And find out it's a step too far. (Craig Putman and Renata Smith)

 

At the Door by Connie Schindewolf.   Monologue

Alyssa, a 17-year-old, who has recently given birth, sits on a bench outside the door of a fire station and explains to her baby what she is about to do.  (Mai Le)

 

The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson.  Play.  

A nearsighted woman’s encounter with an axe murderer goes horribly wrong. Until it goes horribly right.  (Bryan Maynard and Whitney Zangarine)

 

Cappuccino by Jordan Young.  Play. 

Jeff and Barbara seem to have little in common, except a tendency to stretch the truth in their e-mails —he’s allergic to cats and has no interest in opera; she can’t cook and dislikes foreign films. Yet sparks ignite when these 50ish losers meet on a blind date. (Cody Dale Edgar and Cindy Lou Parker)

 

Confrontation by Christine Weems.   Play. 

What happens when break up conversations go awry...  (Melanie Ernestina Burke, Cody Dale Edgar, Andraes Hunt, Bryan Kaplun, Whitney Zangarine and Lance Zierlein)

 

Don Ponzo!!! by Asher Wyndham.  Monologue

Welcome maidens and brave knights to the Renaissance Fair! Raise your cup and scream my name DON PONZO!!! (Andraes Hunt)

 

Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan.   Monologue

Just the facts, Ma'am.  It's first rule in Journalism; stick to the facts and show no bias.  It's a rule Ms. Johnson's students are having a tough time understanding - as is Mrs. Johnson herself.

(Whitney Zangarine)

 

Finding Destiny in a Bar During Happy Hour by Debbie Wiess.   Monologue.

Love can be found in all sorts of places, some incongruous and unusual, others more conducive and typical.  So why not in a bar during Happy Hour?  (Melanie Ernestina Burke)

 

The Font by Hal Corley.   Play.

A young couple's casual debate quickly escalates into a no holds barred confrontation. The trigger?  Font use in e-mail.  A black comedy of manners about hot heads and cool type. (Mai Le and Lance Zierlein)

 

For Lucille by Stan Kaplan.   Monologue.

"A train took me away from here. But a train can't bring me home." T. Waits.  (Lance Zierlein)

 

Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Ehrlich.  Play.

More drama than should be allowed on one page!   (Cody Dale Edgar, Lauren Hainley, Bryan Kaplun, Mai Le, Craig Putnam and Renata Smith)

 

Fuck, Kiss, Touch by B.N. Reichenberger.   Play

Sometimes, a girl meets a guy at a bar, gets a little drunk, goes home with him that night and then sneaks out in the morning and pretends it never happened. Sometimes that’s all she wants to do. And sometimes, the boy has other ideas. (Melanie Ernestina Burke and Andraes Hunt)

 

Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi.   Play.

When you go to work, it’s all about work.  Except when it’s not.  More drama than Kermit and Piggy, not as soul sucking as Office Space, but definitely coworkers you know.  (Bryan Kaplun, Mai Le and Whitney Zangarine)

 

Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell.   Play.

What happens when two serial killers pick each other up on a lonely road?  Sometimes the best friendships are forged in the most unusual circumstances.   (Andraes Hunt, Cindy Lou Parker and Whitney Zangarine)

 

I’m First by Lesli Zephyr.   Play.

There is nothing more competitive than sibling rivalry...in the womb.  (Melanie Ernestina Burke, Mai Le and Cindy Lou Parker)

 

Kissing Boo Boos by Stacey Lane.   Play

A crying child is comforted by a stranger. Will the mother fear foul play or be grateful for the help? (Melanie Ernestina Burke, Mai Le, Bryan Maynard and Cindy Lou Parker)
 

Loop the Loop by David L. Williams.   Monologue

Grainne has been detained at the airport for saying something crazy.  What she’s saying isn’t that crazy, but what she’s going through definitely is.  (Lauren Hainley)

 

Love on the Edge by Carl L. Williams.  Play

A man on the brink of sending himself over a cliff!  And a kind-hearted woman willing to do, golly, just about anything to save him. (Bryan Maynard and Cindy Lou Parker)

 

Maggie’s Madness by Lulu Mire.   Monologue.

Bitches be bitching 'bout bitches.   (Renata Smith)

 

Nano Romance by George J. Bryjak.   Play.

Boy and girl fall madly in love, then love fades. Sometimes this happens over decades, and sometimes in five minutes.  (Renata Smith and Lance Zierlein)

 

On the Unlikelihood of a Dance Ever Being Named for Dick Cheney by Randy Gross.   Play

While a dance instructor points out the cons of honoring former Vice President Dick Cheney with an eponymously-named dance, an aging male dancer improvises his own original Cheney movements.  Warning:  this is not your father’s foxtrot.  (Melanie Ernestina Burke, Kelsey Finstad and Bryan Maynard)

 

The Order by Mark Harvey Levine.  Play

When romance is on the menu, it's a recipe for disaster, with a side dish of food puns, in a light sauce of mixed metaphors.

(Cody Dale Edgar, Mai Le and Craig Putman)

 

PFC by Mark Joenks.   Monologue

Based on true accounts, an American soldier, private first-class, writes a letter home during a brief lull in the fighting of WWII.  Recounting the shift from back lines to front lines, the letter illustrates the experience of one soldier among the many in the war.   (Craig Putman)

 

Philosophy of the Infinite Heart by Ben Plopper.  Play

Looking into the stars, some people see divinity and others the wonder of physics. When two best friends contemplate their place in the universe, they get more than they bargain for by not looking for meaning closer to home. (Bryan Maynard and Whitney Zangarine)

 

Proverbs by Donna Latham.   Play

There's nothing so bad it couldn't be worse. When heartbroken Fiona kicks her cheating husband's arse to the curb, she seeks proverbial wisdom at the Irish pub. Aye, what whiskey won't cure there's no cure for!

(Bryan Kaplun, Renata Smith, Whitney Zangarine and Lance Zierlein)

 

Raccoon Pants by John Weagly.   Play

Raccoons are clever creatures, their fingers are nimble enough to unlace shoes.  They're also handy at hiding.  (Bryan Maynard and Lance Zierlein)

 

Resignation by Dan Guyton.  Monologue

A nerdy guy resigns from his job because his boss is a real jerk. However, as you might tell, the boss might not be the problem...

(Bryan Kaplun)

 

Sea:shore by Evan Guilford Blake.  Play.

sea:shore is a movement-based prose poem for the stage about how the Sea and the Shore joined to become one.   (Andraes Hunt, Cindy Lou Parker and Craig Putman)

 

Slap Happy by Alex Dremann. Play.

Co-workers Pam and Noreen take full-advantage of "National Slap Your Co-Worker Day".

(Melanie Ernestina Burke and Renata Smith)

 

Smelter by Steven D. Miller.   Monologue

In the Kingdom of Mercia, around the year 700 AD, an intricate Welsh gold arm band has been taken as spoils in battle.  A Christian Welsh slave is forced to melt the gold to be fashioned into other objects.  He envisions a day in which the objects will become part of the Staffordshire Hoard, a collection of buried gold and silver martial objects unearthed in 2009.

(Cody Dale Edgar)

 

Taps by D.L. Siegel.   Monologue

One audition is all that separates Cupcake Distefano from her dreams of tap dancing glory. No pressure.

(Cindy Lou Parker)

 

The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard.  Play

Rodney is a tortoise that lives in a pet shop aquarium with a couple of mean turtles.  But when opportunity walks in the pet shop, he can’t help but stare it straight in the face…  (Cody Dale Edgar, Kelsey Finstad, Lauren Hainley, Andraes Hunt and Craig Putman)

 

Walking After Midnight by Allie Costa.   Play.

In this imaginative retelling of Cinderella, a young woman searches for her way home - and her ever after.  (Bryan Kaplun and Renata Smith)

PERFORMANCES

 

Queensbury Theatre

Black Box

12777 Queensbury Lane

 

Wednesday, 12/09 @ 8PM

Thursday, 12/10 @ 8PM

Saturday, 12/12 @ 8PM

Sunday, 12/13 @ 2PM

Wednesday, 12/16 @ 8PM

Thursday, 12/17 @ 8PM

Friday, 12/18 @ 8PM

Saturday, 12/19 @ 8PM

 

Tickets: $15

 

Available online here:

 

 

THE ENSEMBLE:

Melanie Ernestina Burke

Cody Dale Edgar

Kelsey Finstad

Andraes Hunt

Bryan Kaplun

Mai Le

Bryan Maynard

Cindy Lou Parker

Craig Putnam

Renata Smith

Whitney Zangarine

Lance Zierlein

 

Artistic Director: Michael Weems

 

Directed by:

Christine Weems and Lauren Hainley

PERFORMED SHOWS:

 

Wednesday 12/9 @ 8PM

Taps by D.L. Siegel

Slap Happy by Alex Dremann

The Order by Mark Harvey Levine

The Philosophy of the Infinite Heart by Ben Plopper

Don Ponzo!!! by Asher Wyndham

Proverbs by Donna Latham

Smelter by Steven D. Miller

Resignation by Daniel Guyton

The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard
I’m First by Lesli Zephyr
Confrontation by Christine Weems
Nano Romance by George J. Bryjak
Fuck Kiss Touch by B.N. Reichenberger
Walking After Midnight by Allie Costa
Love on the Edge by Carl L. Williams
57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta
Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell
Maggie’s Monologue by Lulu Mire
sea:shore by Evan Guilford-Blake
Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan

 

Thursday 12/10 @ 8PM

Nano Romance by George J. Bryjak

PFC by Mark Joenks

Kissing Boo Boos by Stacey Lane

Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan

57 Varieties by Ignacio Zululeta

Fuck, Kiss, Touch by B.N. Reichenberg

Love on the Edge by Carl L. Williams

Walking After Midnight by Allie Costa

Cappuccino by Jordan Young

Don Ponzo!!! by Asher Wyndham
sea:shore by Evan Guilford-Blake
The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson
Loop-the-Loop by David L. Williams
Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell
Slap Happy by Alex Dremann

Taps by D.L. Siegel
Four Epics and a Critic by C.J. Ehrlich
On the Unlikelihood of a Dance Ever Being Named for Dick Cheney by Randy Gross
Maggie's Monologue by Lulu Mire
Proverbs by Donna Latham

 

Saturday 12/12 @ 8PM

Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell

For Lucille by Stan Kaplan

Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi

Loop-the-Loop by David L. Williams

Raccoon Pants by John Weagly

Finding Destiny in a Bar During Happy Hour by Debbie Wiess

Sea:shore by Evan Guilford Blake

Confrontation by Christine Weems

Maggie's Madness by Lulu Mire

Walking After Midnight by Allie Costa
Nano Romance by George J. Bryjak
The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard
On the Unlikelihood of a Dance Ever Being Named for Dick Cheney by Randy Gross
Proverbs by Donna Latham
Cappuccino by Jordan Young
Don Ponzo! by Asher Wyndham
I'm First by Lesli Zephyr
The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson
Slap Happy by Alex Dremann
Love on the Edge by Carl L. Williams

 

Sunday 12/13 @ 2PM

I'm First by Lesli Zephyr

The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard

The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson

Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Eherlich

On the Unlikelihood of a Dance Ever Being Named for Dick Cheney by Randy Gross

At the Door  by Connie Schindewolf

Slap Happy by Alex Dremann

The Font by Hal Corley

Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell
The Philosophy of the Infinite Heart by Ben Plopper
Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi
Finding Destiny at a Bar During Happy Hour by Debbie Wiess
Resignation by Daniel Guyton
Kissing Boo-Boos by Stacey Lane
Maggie's Monologue by Lulu Mire
Confrontation by Christine Weems
The Order by Mark Harvey Levine
Proverbs by Donna Latham
Don Ponzo! by Asher Wyndham
Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan

 

Wednesday 12/16 @ 8PM

Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi

Smelter by Steven D. Miller

Love on the Edge by Carl L. Williams

57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta

Resignation by Daniel Guyton

Sea:shore by Evan Guilford Blake

Finding Destiny in a Bar During Happy Hour by Debbie Wiess

Raccoon Pants by John Weagly

Don Ponzo! by Asher Wyndham

The Philosophy of the Infinite Heart by Ben Plopper

Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Ehrlich

Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan

Kissing Boo Boos by Stacey Lane

Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell

Slap Happy by Alex Dremann

The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard

Maggie's Madness by Lulu Mire

Confrontation by Christine Weems

The Order by Mark Harvey Levine

The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson

 

Thursday 12/17 @ 8PM

Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Ehrlich

Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan

Kissing Boo Boos by Stacey Lane

Walking After Midnight by Allie Costa

Loop-the-Loop by David L. Williams

Confrontation by Christine Weems

At the Door by Connie Schindewolf

The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard

The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson
Don Ponzo! by Asher Wyndham
Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi
Cappuccino by Jordan Young
Hitchers by Kate Danley and Joe Purcell
Fuck Kiss Touch by B.N. Reichenberger
Proverbs by Donna Latham
I'm First by Lesli Zephyr
Maggie's Monologue by Lulu Mire
The Order by Mark Harvey Levine
The Font by Hal Corley 
57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta

 

 

Friday 12/18 @ 8PM

The Order by Mark Harvey Levine

Raccoon Pants by John Weagly

Maggie's Madness by Lulu Mire

Fuck, Kiss, Touch by B.N. Reichenberg

Proverbs by Donna Latham

Taps by D.L. Siegel

The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson

For Lucille by Stan Kaplan

PFC by Mark Joenks
I'm First by Lesli Zephyr
Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Ehrlich
Loop the Loop by David L. Williams 
Smelter by Steven D. Miller
The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard
Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi
Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell
The Font by Hal Corley
Don Ponzo! by Asher Wyndham
Confrontation by Christine Vinh Weems
57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta

 

Saturday 12/19 @ 8PM

The Font by Hal Corley

Don Ponzo!!! by Asher Wyndham

Philosophy of the Infinite Heart by Ben Plopper

I'm First by Lesli Zephyr

PFC by Mark Joenks

Cappuccino by Jordan Young

On the Unlikelihood of a Dance Ever Being Named for Dick Cheney by Randy Gross

Hitchers by Kate Danley & Joe Purcell

For Lucille by Stan Kaplan
Four Epics and a Critic by CJ Ehrlich
Fact or Opinion by Anne Flanagan
The Order by Mark Harvey Levine
Fuck Kiss Touch by B.N.

Reichenberger
Good Morning by Catherine Scaramuzzi

Slap Happy by Alex Dremann
Taps by D.L. Siegel
Confrontation by Christine Vinh Weems 
Maggie's Madness by Lulu Mire
The Tortoise and the Stare by Bryan Maynard
The Axeman Cometh by Michael Johnson 
57 Varieties by Ignacio Zulueta

© 2019 by Cone Man Running Productions